by Jay Hiller, June 19, 2023
A meditation book I like, Embracing Bliss by Jeff Kober, suggests that when we hear a negative voice in our head it’s not the voice of God. In many instances, the negative voice in my head is my mother’s. A few days ago was the two year anniversary of the day she died and I found myself thinking and remembering negative things about her. That’s not the voice of God either so I thought of five good things about her and wrote them down.
I had a complex relationship with my mom and in the last few years of her life I believed I didn’t love her. When she passed away, I realized that wasn’t true. I loved her and I also disliked her. The reason I disliked her was because over a period of many years she presented me with valid reasons to dislike her, over and over again. Having that kind of conflict for so long, when she passed away, I felt that I didn’t have the right to feel sad about her passing. Writing down 5 good things about her helped.