Complicated grief and what the voice of God is not.

by Jay Hiller, June 19, 2023

Photo by Jessica Delp on Unsplash

A meditation book I like, Embracing Bliss by Jeff Kober, suggests that when we hear a negative voice in our head it’s not the voice of God.  In many instances, the negative voice in my head is my mother’s.  A few days ago was the two year anniversary of the day she died and I found myself thinking and remembering negative things about her.  That’s not the voice of God either so I thought of five good things about her and wrote them down.

I had a complex relationship with my mom and in the last few years of her life I believed I didn’t love her.  When she passed away, I realized that wasn’t true.  I loved her and I also disliked her.  The reason I disliked her was because over a period of many years she presented me with valid reasons to dislike her, over and over again.  Having that kind of conflict for so long, when she passed away, I felt that I didn’t have the right to feel sad about her passing. Writing down 5 good things about her helped.

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2 responses to “Complicated grief and what the voice of God is not.”

  1. This is so relatable and thought-provoking, and so true for many people. I think I too will start a 5 item list. Thank you for sharing this.

    1. Thank you for reading the blog and commenting, Peter.

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